Cracktastic Jar Jar Theory

Give a guy on Reddit a keyboard and a lot of time and he’ll come up with this bizarre theory on Jar Jar’s role in the saga.

Though if it’s true, I’ll have to invest in some Depends when I see TFA because I’ll be laughing hard enough to lose it.


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20 Responses to “Cracktastic Jar Jar Theory”

  1. darth66zannah Says:

    This is ridiculous. No way this can be true. JJ and Disney don’t have the guts to do some this bold…they are too scared about back lash from the Original Trilogy Obsessed fan boys to do something like this…they wouldn’t dare…they are cowards..they are going to “play it safe” and just stick to original trilogy stuff, maybe some prequel attributes but definitely no Jar jar

    • Stefan Kraft Says:

      While I may not call Disney & Co. “cowards,” I agree that they will probably “play it safe” with TFA. Maybe this will result in TFA not being as original as it could be, maybe not. But since Disney wants to attract as much audience as possible (and therefore “strengthen the brand” even more for the average movie goer etc), a “safe” movie is quite likely. Then, EP VIII and IX may risk more (IMHO hopefully so).

  2. Stefan Kraft Says:

    Well, madmediaman/gallandro1 once suggested that Jar Jar’s role was originally (probably) more important in EP II and III. In fact, Jar Jar would have learned to be a skilled warrior and maybe have played an important role in the Clone Wars (and Darth Vader would have killed him in the end). Because of the backslash, GL changed his mind and toned Jar Jar’s role down. That’s possible.

    Now, the article claims:
    “However, GL chickened out. The fan reaction to Jar Jar was so vitriolic that this aspect of the trilogy was abandoned. Just too risky… if Jar Jar is truly that off-putting, it’s potentially ruinous to the Star Wars legacy to imply that he’s the ultimate bad guy of the entire saga. So pretend he was just a failed attempt at comic relief instead.”
    Actually, GL does care less for public opinion than Disney does. So, if GL really intended what the author suggests, he would have sticked to that. Even more because it would already have “redeemed” Jar Jar in the PT (at least in the eyes of the haters).

    Moreover, we have TCW. It is considered as much canon as the movies now. Does TCW really support the hypothesis of the essay author?

    I think the observations about Jar Jar in battle are correct, but Jar Jar does all of it unintentionally. (You could therefore suggest that he has a subconcious relation to the (living) Force, and why not? The civilization he belongs to has developed an organic technology.) Not to forget the comparison of Jar Jar and Buster Keaton Mike Klime has posted a while ago… Jar Jar’s behavior is (probably) taken from that instead of being an indication that he is indeed a Sith lord (or something similar).

    Anyway, should the hypothesis be true, I see two reactions: a) The hateboys might (first) hate this, but then b) JJ Abrams will be hailed as a genius that can even “transform the most pathetic part of the bad prequels into something good.”

    • Stefan Kraft Says:

      About the possible reactions: I do not want to judge them (at least I try). And my own reaction? Well, I like Jar Jar and never had a problem with him. Speculations of this guy aside, Jar Jar is shown as a good (and naive) character, and I do not know how to react if the character’s intentions were suddenly turned upside down.
      (And I would most probably have to throw the novel “Darth Plagueis” out of my head cannon.)

      • Daniel Says:

        Out of all the “Legends” content, I really wish that the Plagueis novel would be retrofitted back into canon. I love love love that story.

    • Stefan Kraft Says:

      P.s.: Assume the hypothesis were true… so they hired Andy Serkins to play Jar Jar? Honestly, why not Ahmed Best to reprise his role?

    • Stefan Kraft Says:

      BTW, maybe we should forward the hypothesis to Ahmed Best… He has a Twitter account after all. 🙂

    • Stefan Kraft Says:

      It seems that I really took this story waaaay to seriously. XD I’ll acknowledge the effort the author has put in it with all the GIFs, detailed observations etc.

      • jarjarbacktattooguy Says:

        No way, I’m with you brother! Don’t stop believing! All the prequel characters will return in the sequels! We will be vindicated! What a world!

  3. Jacobesico Says:

    Didn’t Robot Chicken do something like this?

    Anyway I’ve always liked Jar Jar and I’m not afraid to admit that.

  4. hansolo1138 Says:


    Hardcore Star Wars fans who have nothing better to do than study every frame of the movie and search for conspiracy theories might buy this, but it will stretch the general public’s (and that of mine) suspension of disbelief just a little too far.

    Fan theories rarely, if ever, turn out to be true. The only fan theory that I have ever heard to be validated involves the peddler and the Genie from Aladdin. This theory, however, was made by someone who reads way too much into the wrong parts of the saga.

    There is no chance that this is true. But IF it is, then The Force Awakens, J.J. Abrams, and Disney deserve everything that’s coming to them.

  5. Brian47 Says:

    I don’t know, I really get nothing but snark and satire from this article. It’s correct that TCW is canon and this article only focuses on the PT, I kinda doubt this person ever actually watched TCW (as many older fans avoided it after not liking the PT). I think this article is from a fan who initially disliked the PT and is trying to suck-up to other fans of similar disposition, trying to twist things around in a dark version that would appeal to that group.

    • lazypadawan Says:

      Still, it’s worth a laugh. Could you imagine if that was actually the case? The haters would have a heart attack!

      • Jacobesico Says:

        The Darth Darth Binks thing has been kicking around for years! That guy is late to the party.

        That would be so funny though if Jar Jar did turn out to be the villain though.Aside for the haters having a heart attack, it would be a far cry from having his bones in the desert like Abrams joked.

    • jarjarbacktattooguy Says:

      Jar Jar is Kylo Ren! That’s why he’s not on the poster, duh!

      Unlike Luke, the Binkster actually did believe in what Palps and Vader were doing. Jar Jar loved his job as an evil senator and gladly shoveled pork into the barrel going to Naboo. Like most politicians, Binks never got dates being a talentless loser back home. But as an Imperial senator, he was up to his floppy ears in ass!

      It would actually make sense to bring him back, since he was intimately involved in the events of the prequels, and may have still been serving in the Senate until the time it was dissolved in ANH.

      It is strongly suggested in the ROTJ SE that Binks was still alive at the end of the movie. This would make him one of the few major PT characters to have survived both trilogies. I am sure there are many Imperial secrets knocking around in that giant melon of his.

      After the senate was dissolved, Binks had to return to Naboo where the only job he could find was as a maid in the Theed Super 8 motel…in the seedy side of town.

      So who would want to see the empire return more than him?

      However, if they want a link back to the PT, they will probably dig up a Jedi who they say survived Order 66.

      My other theory is that Von Sydow is Master Sifo-Dyas! As you can see, my theories suck!

  6. bansheegun Says:

    This is actually getting a lot of traction online. Lol 15 years later and Jar Jar lives on!

  7. Adam D. Bram (The Nilbog) Says:

    Right evidence, wrong conclusion.

    This is like watching ((SPOILERS!!!!))

    …The Sixth Sense and saying “Hmm, Bruce Willis is never seen having a full-on back-and-forth conversation with anyone but the little kid who sees dead people, and his wife is not the kind who would completely ignore him, especially after what happened in the beginning. That must mean…he’s secretly an alien parasite bent on using the kid’s medium powers to take over the world!”

  8. Stefan Kraft Says:

    Oh my, Ahmed Best has confirmed the hypothesis!

    😉 XD

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