Clone Wars Debriefing: “Slaves Of The Republic”

If last week’s “Kidnapped” was on the lighter side, even with the issue of slavery, horrible deaths, and Anakin’s freakouts taken into consideration, “Slaves of the Republic” is hardcore. Holy cow!

It begins on a light note as Anakin, Obi-Wan, Captain Rex, and Ahsoka arrive undercover on Zygerria. Thankfully Ahsoka is not wearing the costume that was in the comic; it looked like something only R. Kelly could love. At least she is a little older here too. Anakin talks his way into the queen’s palace, with Ahsoka playing the part of his slave. Anakin turns on the sex appeal, flirting with the queen, though the way she looks at Ahsoka initially, I was wondering if he was barking up the wrong tree.

Anyway, when Anakin whispers something sexy to the queen, it’s hilarious when Ahsoka stares at him as though she’s thinking, “Where the **** did he learn to do that?”

Meanwhile Obi-Wan and Rex are poking around and find the Togruta leader from last episode. Obi-Wan is soon captured and once again, he is put through the grinder. It’s like a cartoon version of The Obi-Wan Torture Oasis.

To make a long story short, Obi-Wan is tossed into an arena and Anakin is forced to go inflict some pain on him. In an homage to ROTJ, the heroes spring into action, even with Artoo firing out all of the lightsabers. But things don’t go as well for the prequel crew as they did for Luke and his friends. Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka are outnumbered and then they are electrocuted. This show is like a sadistic fan writer’s dream! Then a beat down Obi-Wan and Rex are taken to listen to the Zygerrians’ evil plans and watch as innocent Togrutas are dumped into a bottomless pit. Ahsoka is kept in a cage dangling over the palace wall.

And that’s not all! Anakin awakens in the queen’s bed (clothed for some reason, heh heh). The first thing he does is choke a bitch–Dark!Anakin alert–but the queen has his friends’ lives in her hands so he stands down. Anakin is conscripted into being the queen’s bodyguard. She realizes he was once a slave and has some insights into his dark nature. She clearly has the hots for him.

They sure don’t hold back with this episode. Who needs to watch FX or some pay channel for sex, violence, suicide, and murder? But they end it on a cliffhanger and we’re going to have to wait FIVE weeks for the conclusion to this arc.

FIVE FRICKIN’ WEEKS??!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!! *Throws racket like John McEnroe.*

It looks like in the meantime I will have to post the Clone Wars Season Four Halftime Report, which will look back at where we’ve been so far.



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