Win on so many levels!
Okay, I’ll have to agree with Club Jade that “Voyage of Temptation” sounds like a naughty reality show set on a cruise ship. There’s not really a lot of temptation to go around, except maybe when it comes to Orn Free Taa and what’s for dinner. Or all those Cosmos Satine keeps drinking. No wonder she and Obi-Wan were drawn to one another…they were probably hiding in cantinas most of the time they were “on the run from bounty hunters.”
The plot is simple…someone is plotting to whack Satine en route to Coruscant. That someone had spider-like assassin droids smuggled aboard. Good thing for Satine and her small retinue of Senators that Obi-Wan, Anakin, and a mess of clonetroopers are there to protect her! Not that she appreciates it or anything. She keeps throwing barbs at Obi-Wan (“I presume you are acquainted with the collection of half-truths and hyperbole known as Obi-Wan Kenobi?”) and he snarks right back at her. Orn Free Taa breaks up the tension by suggesting they go eat. On the way to the dining hall, Anakin–who knows UST when he sees it–starts asking Obi-Wan’s questions about his past with Satine. Obi-Wan tells Anakin about the year he and Qui-Gon (yay, Quiggy mention!) spent protecting Satine from bounty hunters during a civil war on Mandalore. When Satine could return to Mandalore, she and Obi-Wan went their separate ways.
Meanwhile, two redshirt clonetroopers (Redeye and Mixer) check out the dark, creepy hold with Artoo. After Artoo plays a prank on one of them, a spider-like assassin droid dispatches both of the clones. When Anakin gets word that Artoo is scared and two clones are missing, he goes to investigate with Rex and other clones while Obi-Wan sits through the banquet.
All heck breaks loose when Anakin and Co. battle the assassin droids, that have “baby” assassin droids crawling all over the place. One of the droids gets away and heads up the elevator (sorry, “lift”) shaft toward the dining hall. Orn Free Taa hilariously screams like a girl as Obi-Wan battles the droid and its “babies.” Satine finally decides to do something by shooting the baby droids with her handy deactivator. More snark ensues.
Once that’s all taken care of, Anakin gets all bitchy with the droid in charge of the ship’s manifest. He finds out that a Senate stamp was used to get the assassin droids aboard the ship, meaning that a Senator had to have brought them aboard. Obi-Wan comes up with an idea. He brings a baby assassin droid into the dining room to see if it stands down from any of the Senators. The lucky winner is the Tal Merrick, a guy who vaguely reminds me of Lord Farquaad from Shrek, the bad guy voiced by John Lithgow. He takes Satine hostage, whacks the bridge crew, brings the ship out of hyperspace, and contacts Pre Vizsla of the Death Watch. The Mando baddie says reinforcements are on the way and sure enough ships with super battle droids burrow into the larger ship.
Obi-Wan follows Merrick and his hostage from the bridge. Merrick has a detonator that will blow them all to kingdom come. Satine begs Obi-Wan to not risk any more lives on her behalf and I guess the plan is Merrick was going to take Satine with him on an escape pod or something, then deliver her to the Death Watch. Satine figures now was as good time as any to confess her love for Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan surprisingly tells her had she asked, he would have left the Order for her. Merrick makes barfing noises, then Satine steps on his foot. She quickly grabs a blaster and aims it at Merrick. He gloats about the dilemmas she and Obi-Wan face: if Satine shoots him, she is a hypocrite. If Obi-Wan kills him, he’s a hero to everyone but to Satine. “Which one of you is going to be a cold blooded murderer?” he scoffs, until he gets his answer when Anakin shish-kebabs him with a lightsaber in the back. I noticed the second time I watched it that you can hear a little bit of the “Imperial March” as it happens. Afterwards, Anakin casually shrugs and says, “What? He was going to blow up the ship.”
The crew makes it back to Coruscant where Palpatine congratulates them. Satine tells Obi-Wan his beard hides his hotness. Anakin laughs and will likely text about it to Padmé later.
Despite some of its grim elements, this was a very amusing and entertaining episode. Anakin keeps trying to ask questions about Obi-Wan and Satine, but Obi-Wan’s a little reticent. In one scene at the top of the episode, there’s a reversal of the elevator scene in AOTC. Instead of Obi-Wan sensing Anakin’s anxiety about seeing Padmé again, Anakin senses Obi-Wan’s anxiety about seeing Satine. There are some references to “Alien” and even Artoo plays a prank on one of the clones.
Greg Proops, who voiced Fode (one of the two-headed podrace announcers) in TPM, did a great job with the villainous Merrick. It’s kind of too bad he got killed off.
I’ve seen some complaints about Obi-Wan telling Satine he would have left the Jedi Order for her. They thought it was out-of-character. It would have been OOC if Obi-Wan wanted to leave the Order now. I figure that had Obi-Wan met Satine when he was about the same age as Anakin in AOTC or maybe a little younger, it might have been something that crossed his mind. It is telling that even though Satine loved him, she apparently never did ask him to abandon the Jedi for her. Was it out of her own strict sense of duty or did she expect him to volunteer? In any case, by the time we “meet” Obi-Wan in TPM, he was clearly devoted to the Jedi and nothing else. The Satine thing might have happened almost a decade beforehand. It must have been quite an interesting time for Qui-Gon, heh heh.
Satine and Mandalorian assassins return next week as the Mandalorian Trilogy wraps up.
Tags: Clone Wars